If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
