Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize