so let's talk penis.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
