every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
