So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
