he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
