end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
