...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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