i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
