your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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