Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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