I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Your dad touched me again.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
