i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
