the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
