I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think a kid would responsible me up
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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