You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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