Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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