I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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