Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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