dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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