this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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