worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
