Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
