pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
