go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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