her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
