When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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