Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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