hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
