She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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