are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
