Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize