I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
