If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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