so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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