I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Jerry, you need to find god
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize