What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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