After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
