i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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