I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So many bounce houses so little time
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
