Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
