So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize