you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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