yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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