Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
