Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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