have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
