She's JV to your varsity
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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