I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
