Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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