How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
