So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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