dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We just shotgunned beers for America
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
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