It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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