No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
