Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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