It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
