It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
