I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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