I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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