We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
