Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize