Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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