Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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