Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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