So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
