I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize