are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize