I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
