I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
only you would photoshop your dick
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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