All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize