You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
