Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i have herpe
just one?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
