Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
