just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
